So scared of tomorrow

I gave in...

I thought I would be stronger, but I wasn't. Something about you made me do it. You are not my boyfriend, but you are my friend..maybe that's why I did it.
I always said no..but with you I was weak. With just one kiss I was hooked and I couldn't turn back. A frenzy began inside of me..I just wanted more..and you gave me more. I couldn't stop, something inside me just kept going. Your touch was so sweet and inviting..I just gave in to your charm. The moment you and me became one, it was magical. I belonged to you, and you belonged to me. Our hearts were racing. I felt like I was about to explode.
The night was poetic, but it was all over. Now it was just a memory..how sad. Now I'm just scared of tomorrow, thinking of how I will look into your eyes without wanting to kiss you? How will our friendship be? Will everything change? Will it be weird? Will I lose you? Because that thought scares me to death. After all that has happened between us, it would be unbearable.
I gave you all of me.. I gave in.. and now I'm scared of tomorrow.

What if?

"What if..?" I hate that question, but it's something we always ask ourselves. It's my turn now. What if you find a new love? Am I going to be out of your life or will our true friendship last? You are one of my best friends, but we also have this amazing connection that none of us is able to explain. No one understands our weird friendship, but for us is special. At least for me it is. But we should keep quiet, so no one knows because everyone will have a say in it. The people we revolve around will definitely have something to say , and I really don't want to hear it.
We have this amazing bond, that no one can break... people don't know why, even I don't know. Something inside of us just brings us closer together. When times get rough we just get stronger. But I have another question, what if people find out about the depth of our friendship? Will it all be over? That scares me, because what if we go too deep, could we ever go back? Everyone knows that we are great friends, but the have no idea how special our friendship really is. I don't want them to find out about all the great times we had together, that only the two of us know about.
But what if you find a new love? I know you don't love me, and I don't love you, but we do care a lot about each other..would you tell me the truth? I know that eventually both of us will find someone special in our lives, but for now I don't want this to end. The only thing is that I don't know that if we go in too deep , if I could still be your friend and act as if nothing happened between us. I know you are not my boyfriend but sadly I have to say that I think I fell in love with our friendship.

The Ugly Truth

You say "I love you, I say "I love you too". You kiss me and hug me, and I don't say no. You hold my hand and I hold yours. You say my eyes sparkle like the stars in the sky and I say you give me butterflies and when you kiss me I see fireworks in the sky. You think that everything is perfect, but I know for a fact that what you think, it's not true...

I don't love you... I just like kissing you. Which are two very different things. I thought that time would make me love you, but it can't. Somewhere along the line you just became a game to me. This is the ugly truth, and I know it's harsh, but it's the truth. I don;t want to spend the rest of my life with you, I don't want to hold your hand anymore, I don't want to kiss ever again, or lie to your face again. It was fun for a while, but sadly I get bored easily, and you are taking us way too seriously. I'm tired of pretending, worried of what people would say. But I've had enough. It's not fair for both of us, because I'm just playing with your feelings.

I just can't see how can you want this, how can you want us to be together. Everyone knows I don't love you, except you. Open your eyes and realize the ugly truth.

Not perfect

I hate feeling like this, like I'm not good enough for you. That's what I think, but for you I'm the definition of perfection, too perfect for you. Why do you put me on a pedestal? I'm so high I can't even see below. The reality is that I'm not perfect, I have many flaws, but apparently you can't see them. My perfection is always your excuse to turn me away from you, and that's just not fair. The thing that I want the most in this life is you, but you put a wall between us. You say that I'm too good to be true, but the funny thing is that I'm true to you! Don't create a void between us, because you know I will try my best to break it.

Listen to the music

Music. That is the author of my story. Music was the magic that made my life complete.

There I was, a young girl looking for love in the big city, something very common here. My best friends and I wanted to go out, but I just wanted to grab a bite somewhere and then watch a movie, but my friends insisted to go to a club to watch a band they've heard of. Sure I like to go to clubs and see new bands because I love music, it's my passion, but sadly I can't play any instrument. What a shame. Okay back to the story... So there we were young girls in the city on our way to the night that would change my life forever.
We enter this club, it was so full we could barely walk... but finally we find a nice spot to sit and after a while a guy got up on stage and announced that the band would be playing in a few minutes. And in a few minutes there he was, black converse, leather jacket, tousled hair and his guitar. I was hypnotized. I couldn't take my eyes off him... the rest of the band didn't even exist for me. After a while the band started playing and in that moment I heard the most beautiful melody I have ever heard. It was him, and his guitar. I honestly envied that guitar because of the way he delicately held it between his arms and stroke it with his fingers... He just closed his eyes and played his music... and that was all I could hear, his music... not the rest of the band, just him. That moment marked the rest of my life.
The show ended and my friends wanted to leave... but I couldn't leave just yet, I had to meet him first, that mysterious rocker boy that captivated my soul and filled it with music. But if I went up to him, he would think I was just another fan, and it wasn't like that at all. My friends walked out of the club, but I didn't follow, something kept me there. It was him, he kept me there. It was a force I couldn't explain, I just stood there looking at him, and the shocking thing was that he was looking at me too. Time froze. The world stopped for both of us, it felt like we were the only two people in that place. I just started walking, it felt like something was pulling me towards him, and at that time he started walking too. We met in the middle, and he just took me into his arms and kissed me. I went to the moon and back. He pulled away and said to me: "You are the one and I don't want to ever let you go." I looked at him in the eyes because I didn't understand where all this was coming from. And he told me that the second I walked into this club he felt like the whole world made sense at last and his music chose me, which means his heart chose me. I just couldn't believe it, I was speechless.

This had been a surreal night for me... and from that night on he kept filling my soul with beautiful songs and with his mind blowing music. It was meant to be... we fell in love through music...

Thank you for the memories

My best friends. How could I live without them? Simple... I just can't. They are the ones that make me laugh for no good reason, the ones that make me strong with their advice, and the ones that are always there for me when I need them the most. I know that I can call them at three in the morning to ask them the most stupid question, and the wouldn't mind, they would pick up the phone anyways as if it were five in the afternoon.

My best friends. The people who know the real me. They know instantly when something is wrong without me saying anything, with just the sound of my voice, or with just one look into my eyes. Sometimes it's scary how well they know me, but I don't really care because I love them anyways.

Sometimes I think they don't know how important they are for me, or how much I care about them. They are always there for me when I have boy problems, family problems, or just me problems. They have helped me throughout every situation imaginable. How can they even doubt what they mean to me? Easy... I'm not very good at expressing how I feel, don't know why. But no matter how bad I am expressing how I feel, that doesn't mean I don't love them and adore them. My life would be so empty without them and so boring. I can't even bare to think about it. All I know is that I wouldn't change our late night talks, our sleepovers, our girls days, our laughs, our tears,our moments together for anything in the world. Destiny put them in my life and I will never let them go. No matter how far we are form each other, and no matter where life takes us, we will always have our friendship to rely on... we will always have each other. Thank you for our memories together.

Always and forever... best friends.

I've been thinking [response to A letter from me to you]

I read your letter, and I memorized it line by line. Reading it was a roller coaster ride of emotions for me. At the very end of the letter you told me to think about everything you wrote me... and I've been thinking, should I tell you the truth or lie to you as I have been doing all along?

Since the day we met I have loved you, and it keeps growing as each day passes. The very first time I saw your eyes, those eyes that mesmerize me, I knew you were special. But it took me a while to figure out what you meant for me, or what I felt for you at such an early stage of our friendship. But one day I figured it out, it was all crystal clear now. That day I understood why I couldn't stop thinking of you, a girl I had just met a while ago... I couldn't get you out of my mind! But when I finally knew what I felt for you, what you meant to me, I knew that I had to have you in my life and be with you forever. Usually I'm very upfront about things, but when it came to you, it was always so hard to express myself clearly, it was so frustrating...

I've seen you cry because of heartache and it has been the hardest thing I had to do in my life. Because I knew that if I told you the truth about my feelings and if you were okay with them, then I would have made you the happiest girl in the world. But I was so scared of loosing you, and that you wouldn't take well the huge news of your best friend being in love with you, that all I did was support you and tell you that you deserved better and that any guy would be lucky to have you. Stupid of me. You kept going for all the wrong guys and that frustrated me, because if you would have looked closely, you would have seen that the best guy for you was right in front of your eyes! But I couldn't say anything... I swallowed all my feelings and moved on.

You are in my dreams every night, and all I want is for all those dreams to come true. By reading your letter I instantly knew my dreams would come true, because you were feeling the same things as me. Who knew? This is beyond a dream, this is a reality now. I'm counting the days to see you again, because I absolutely hate missing you this much. And all because of you stubbornness, you couldn't just talk to me in person? You write me a letter like that and then just storm off? Well I can't wait to see you, and be with you for the rest of my life. I promise to make you the happiest woman in the world, love you every day even more and make you smile as long as I live.

Love you forever...

Jake

A letter from me to you...

I love you...
What a great way to start this off. Right?
It's easier for me to write everything I'm feeling right now, which is confused. I have all this feelings for you bottled up for a very long time now, I'm about to explode. What can I do if I love you and you don't? It hurts too much just to think about it, I have to get away.... Away from you, and your impossible to resist charm.

With just one look I'm hooked, and that's just not fair. You know me better than anyone, the real me, that person that with just one look into my eyes, into the depth of my soul, you know exactly what I'm thinking. Mostly it's about you, but do you think of me the same way? I hate being like this, so lost and confused. I need to ask you something... if I told you I loved you, would you hate me? Am I going to loose you? Because if I am, I just can't handle it... I would just keep my feelings to myself and act as if nothing is happening in my heart.

You have always been there for me, as I have been there for you, and I have no idea what I would do if you were not by my side. I guess you want to know how and when I fell for you. Don't you remember? It was the first time I laid my eyes on you, I automatically knew you would be someone special. The first time you said hi to me, I knew deep in my heart we were meant to be together.

I can't express all the things I feel for you in just one letter. No paper would do it justice. But I'll save the rest for later. Just think about what I just wrote you, and write me back...

Much love,

Luna

Frienemies... Why waste your time?

"Friends, yet enemies.
A type of relationship whereby parties are silently resentful of and competitive with one another, but who behave superficially as though they are best friends.
The friendship develops because it suits their mutual interests, but parties involved would stab each other in the back in a heartbeat if it suited them.
Common in the relationally aggressive female world, particularly where competition for men is involved."

Frienemies... yeah you know they exist. And I hate them, even the word, it's so stupid. Why do we waste our time being "friends" with someone who would stab you in the back in a heartbeat? It's simple, we're scared. Scared of what people would say, scared of what that person would say about you, or scared of the many secrets people would find out about you for no good reason. Well... all of this has to stop! Take a stand and take those frienemies out of your life! All you have to do is put them in a little box in the back of your mind and pretend they don't even exist. Don't waste your time pretending when you can spend your time living, and not being disturbed by useless people. Maybe that frienemy used to be just a friend, and it's hard for you to let go, but please do. All the hate and pretending to like each other it's eating you alive.
People say that you should keep your friends close but your enemies closer, I think thay are so wrong. Keeping your enemies close would only make you paranoid. But if you keep your true friends closer it would only make you happy.

So why waste your time being paranoid if you could just be happy?

What can I do?

I don't know what to do. All of my favorite memories, are my memories with you. Every time I hear the word love, I think of you. You are in my dreams, in my thoughts, even when I breathe you are there.

I can still remember the first time I saw you, you looked so peaceful. You took my breath away. You were so beautiful. I fell for you so fast, I'm still trying to get a grip of myself. But how could I not have fallen for you when perfection was staring at me right in the face. I loved you then, and I love you now.
The moments I spent with you are still fresh in my memory. You were so funny and romantic, the perfect combination for a girl like me. You always kept me on my toes, and you knew how to sweep me off my feet. With a simple kiss you took me to the moon, and with a hug you filled my soul with love.

When the wind hits my face, I can still feel his scent sneaking up on me, to play with my mind. It's just not fair, why did I have to lose him? Life plays tricks on us, that are sometimes cruel.

Right now I'm just sitting here waiting on life to make it up to me. What can I do when I know life took him, my love, away from me for no good reason? Should I make peace with life? Or should just hate life? What can I do?

I didn't even get to say goodbye...

Friends

Last night...

It was so hard for me to know that one of my best friends is going through a rough time. I wish that I could talk to him, heart to heart and tell him what I really think about everything he's going through. I have so many things bottled up inside, and just because I don't have the courage to call him up, he will keep going the wrong road.

Last night I realized how much I care for him, and it frustrates me... don't know why. He's been such a good friend to me, that I have to do the same for him. It's only fair. Me and him, well, we have kind of a past, but that doesn't matter right now, because NOW he's one of my best friends. I don't know if that's weird but I don't really care. Maybe because of the past, this situation is weird, just maybe. But if you were in my position, what would you do? You would help your best friend, right?

All I have to say is that I understand what he's going though, because the same things happened to me. I just want him to know that there are so many thing in life that are important and valuable, to be wasting your time stuck in a past that made you cry. Move on, and live your life. Forget about all the things that made you unhappy, and concentrate of living your life to the fullest with the people that care about you, your friends. Surround yourself with positive energy and with people that just want what's best for you.

Remember I love you very much, and that all I want is for you to be happy!